


But They Tore Me Apart Like a Hurricane

by SichengForTheWinWin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and im an emotional mess, how to tag, jun is such a mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 05:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14348487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SichengForTheWinWin/pseuds/SichengForTheWinWin
Summary: Chan still does anything that Jeonghan asks him to, including but not limited to waking up a sick and miserable Jisooorthe one where seungcheol is stubborn but totally whipped for jisoo





	But They Tore Me Apart Like a Hurricane

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because my therapist suggested I try and convey my thoughts in a more constructive way, but then it got to 2k words. Oops.
> 
> I called him Joshua through the whole thing, because I have this idea that he thinks about himself as Joshua, kind of like I think of myself as my middle name instead of my first, but they all call him Jisoo, because they’re Korean and it seems easiest that way.
> 
> Written before BooSeokSoon debut
> 
> Title from Therapy by All Time Low

There was a soft knock on the door and Joshua looked up, his head already aching just from the effort.  Whoever it was had better be in and out quick or he might just shoot them.

“Jisoo-hyung?”  It was Chan. He peeked his head into the room, a nervous smile on his face.

“What is it, Chan?”

“Coups-hyung hasn’t come back from the dance studio.  Jeonghan-hyung took over the dorm and… he said you were least likely to strangle me if I asked, so… we need you to go get Seungcheol-hyung.”

Joshua let his head fall back against the pillows, groaning when it made the pain spike.

He’d been in bed since 5 o’clock yesterday morning when, during stretching before practice, he’d hit the ground, unable to stay on his feet.  Soonyoung had freaked out, rambling about never having anyone pass out on him before and ignoring Joshua’s protests that he hadn’t actually passed out.  Seungcheol had been sent into a similar fit, trying to keep everyone calm but also deal with that fact that Joshua couldn’t see anything past two feet in front of his face.

He’d been carried back to the dorm by Mingyu and Chan and, around 7 o’clock, the in-house doctor had come by to see him.  Joshua struggled just to stay awake but, on the doctor’s orders, he was force-fed snack food high in calories, Jun completely ignoring the fact that Joshua was on a  _ diet _ and  _ none  _ of these foods were in compliance with that.

They’d taken turns staying with him all yesterday, but today, Junhui had herded everybody out to door, practically carrying Minghao, who looked dead on his feet, and leaving Joshua sleeping to get back some of his energy.  Apparently, he’d been pushing himself too far and needed to act like a normal person for a few days instead of an idol. He wasn’t really sure what it meant to be a normal person anymore, but he’d gone to high school in America; surely he could find that procrastinating teen in himself somewhere.

“I thought he came back with all of you.  He stopped by here, didn’t he?”

Chan seemed a bit flustered when he said, “No, he didn’t.  The only one who’s been in here was Junhui-hyung. I should just tell hyung that you’re still too sick.”

“I’m not sick,” Joshua pressed.  To prove his point, he swung his legs out of bed and stood.  He was back on his bed a second later, having lost his balance, and Chan was in front of him.

“Hyung, just go back to sleep!” Chan urged.

But Joshua couldn’t just go back to sleep.  If Jeonghan was calling in him, in his state, that meant he’d already tried everything.  Even  _ he _ couldn’t get Seungcheol to come back with all his pouty looks and sad eyes, and that meant something was actually wrong.  He had to do this.

“Help me up, Chan.”

Chan didn’t seem happy about it, but he wrapped his arms around Joshua and lifted him to his feet, steadying him when he almost went down again.  They stood there for a couple seconds, wrapped around each other, Joshua’s breathing shaky, until he felt sturdy enough to go on his own.

Chan scurried around behind him, quickly joined by pretty much every other member when he made it out his bedroom door, excluding Jeonghan and Junhui, who were arguing quietly.  When they saw Joshua, though, they were quick to their feet, approaching him.

“You don’t have to go,” Junhui said.  “He’s got to come back eventually. He knows that no one will go to sleep if he doesn’t tell them to.”

“I have to go, Junhui-ah.”  Joshua smiled. “I want to, anyway; just to make sure he’s okay.”

Junhui turned to shoot a glare at Jeonghan, who shrunk away a little, but hurried back to Joshua’s side when he started moving.

“Do you need someone to go with you?” he asked.  “I can-”

“No, Jeonghan.  You’re in charge while me and Seungcheol are gone, so you need to stay.  Sorry, Junhui, but I don’t trust you to actually take care of the children and not just spend all your time with Minghao.”  Joshua smirked when Junhui blushed and Minghao snorted in amusement. “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. With Seungcheol. You all better be in bed when I return.”  Joshua glared at all eleven of them briefly before turning on his heel and stumbling out of the dorm, only losing his balance once.

 

\-----

 

Joshua slipped through the door to the practice room, quietly making a seat for himself near it.  He watched Seungcheol dance for a bit.

Joshua had once been roped by Jeonghan into making a list of who was best at what in the group.  He himself had placed pretty low on the dancing list, down with Mingyu who could arguably dance better than him but sometimes had trouble moving his long limbs appropriately.  Jeonghan had placed number 5, just behind Junhui.

Seungcheol was lost somewhere in the middle, under Seungkwan but over Seokmin.  But that didn’t mean he couldn’t dance. He had an air of confidence about him when he performed; something that made you overlook any small mistakes he made.  But he couldn’t see it so whenever he made even the tiniest mistake, his mind blew it up to exponential proportions, convincing him that he’d ruined the entire performance.  No matter how many times Soonyoung talked to him about it, he never got over it. (Joshua, with all his mighty wisdom, felt like it maybe had something to do with being promised debut with two separate groups before he was placed in Seventeen, but that was totally a guess.)

“Oh, my god!”  Seungcheol turned quickly, having finally caught sight of Joshua, and rushed to his side.  “What are you doing here? The doctor said you’re not allowed out of bed for three days! Here, let me call Jeonghan to come pick you-”

“Jeonghan sent me.”  Joshua smiled, brushed Seungcheol’s arms from his sides.  “He said you refused to go back to the dorm.” He hadn’t actually, Joshua had inferred that, but the look of shame Seungcheol took on when he said it confirmed his suspicions.

“I didn’t refuse.  I just… I need to get this part down.  Everyone already has it and-”

“Not everyone.”  Seungcheol wouldn’t meet his eyes.  “I have no idea what you were doing just there.  Care to show me?”

Seungcheol did look up at that.  “What? No! You’re sick! You should be resting!  And-”

“Seungcheol, chill!”  Joshua stood up hesitantly, almost tipping over.  Seungcheol rushed over to him again, but he pushed him back.  “You don’t have to _ teach _ me.  Just show me.”

He seemed very nervous about leaving Joshua to stand on his own, but he moved back to fiddle with the sound system, playing their newest song through the speakers quietly.  He walked slowly to the middle, his feet hitting the floor on beat, his steps uneven as he ran through the choreo in his head. When it hit the first chorus, he moved into position.

From Joshua’s spot on the floor, he watched Seungcheol hit all his marks, his arms extending as his feet left the ground, his head turning just slightly to make sure he wouldn’t hit whoever was in position next to him.  He looked perfectly in sync with the music, but Joshua also saw the exact moment he messed something up. Not because it was obvious in his movement that something was wrong but because he cringed just enough to be noticeable.

He came to a stop, panting hard and keeping his arms from clutching at his chest.  Joshua, unsteadily, walked over to him, placing his fingers on his pulse point. For six seconds, Joshua kept three running tallies in his head (he was talented like that): number of seconds, number of heartbeats, number of times Seungcheol made eye contact.

“You’re over your active rate.  You should take a break.”

Seungcheol flushed a little and pulled away.

“I’ve got to get this right.  I was so close. You should go back, though.” 

_ You’re a distraction.   _ Joshua’s mind supplied the words he hadn’t said.  And it was probably true. He was very distracting, what with his pressuring Seungcheol to rest and watching him in hopes he doesn’t keel over and die from overexertion, the exact thing that had Joshua bedridden for days.

“Seungcheol, you’re not a very good liar.  So I’m only gonna ask once and, if you choose not to answer, I’m going to force you to go back to the dorm.  If you do, we can talk about it and, when we’re done, then we’ll go back to the dorm. But you are finished practicing.”

Seungcheol spluttered.  “What? You can’t do that?  I’m the leader, I’m your hyung, you can’t-”

“Please.  You’re 5 months older than me, use aegyo to get what you want, and will do anything to make sure your members are okay.  So, since I’m sick and you’re a sweetheart that just pretends to be a hardass, that’s the deal.”

Seungcheol didn’t seem happy about it, but he went and grabbed a chair for Joshua, unnecessarily helping him sit down, before pooling onto the floor.

“What do you want to talk about, Jisoo?”

“What’s bothering you?”

Seungcheol blanched.  “What? Nothing’s-”

“Seungcheol, don’t lie.  I know when you’re lying.  Something’s bothering you and I want to know what.”

There was silence for a while and Joshua started to doubt he’d actually be back in twenty minutes.  He thought he’d be in and out, just his presence making Seungcheol worry and rush him back, where he’d be trapped by Jeonghan or something.  But Seungcheol seemed very adamant to stay.

Finally, after it was getting to the point where Joshua might actually fall asleep there, Seungcheol spoke.

“Why am I here?”

“Woah.”  Joshua tried to laugh, but it came out a bit pained.  “Getting all existential tonight, are we?”

Seungcheol laughed softly, which made Joshua feel a little bit better.

“No, I mean… in Seventeen.  Why am I here? What do I even do?”

Joshua paused.  He didn’t really know how to help with this.  He knew what Seungcheol was feeling, that uselessness to the cause.  He’d felt it himself so many times in the past. He was a member of the large unit, one person too large.  If he left, it wouldn’t upset some huge balance. He barely got any lines in their title songs, only the China line having less, and they both got the chance to make up for it with their dancing in the Performance unit.  He wasn’t the mood maker or the face of the group. He didn’t write many of the songs they actually used and Hansol could speak English well enough to translate when they needed it.

With all these thoughts constantly weighing on him, especially when he wasn’t busy, he knew exactly how Seungcheol was feeling.  And he knew there was nothing he could really do to help besides assure him that he was important.

“You’re our leader.  We need you. Every group needs a good leader.”

“Yeah, but… I’m the most useless of the leader line.”

“How so?”

Seungcheol scoffed.  “Don’t even pretend you don’t understand what I mean.  Jihoon writes the music. Soonyoung choreographs the dances.  Hansol would be a better Hip Hop leader than me; he at least helps write a lot of the songs.  All I do is shuffle people around and talk in interviews and get chastised when something goes wrong.  I don’t… I don’t see why I’m here…”

Joshua paused.  He knew what he needed to do, but he wasn’t terribly excited about it.

“Okay, and?  Is there a point here, or…”

Seungcheol reacted exactly as Jisoo knew he would.  He got angry.

“Of course there’s a fucking point!” he snapped, launching to his feet.  “I’m utterly useless! Everyone else can do everything that I can and more!  I’m not dating anyone to keep me here. Junhui would be a fantastic leader for the group!  He’s practically the mother anyways. Hansol could be Hip Hop leader or, if he felt too young to, Wonwoo would kick ass at it.  What else do I do, huh? I wish that I could be like, ‘I’m the only one who can do this,’ or ‘everybody keeps me around because I’m that,’ but I can’t!  If I wasn’t here, there would be someone to take my place.”

Ah.  There it was.  The exact thoughts Joshua had been dealing with the last eight years of his life.  And it was heartbreaking to watch Seungcheol think so little of himself. Really, it was.  Especially when Joshua really understood how lost they’d be without him. In the two hours he’d been gone, the entire dorm had plunged into chaos, Junhui and Jeonghan arguing, maknaes hiding in their rooms, Jeonghan sacrificing ‘his baby’ to the demon that was a sick, sleepy Joshua.  They needed him to make even the smallest decisions for them. Which meant, it suddenly occurred to Joshua, that they probably hadn’t even eaten dinner because Wonwoo and Mingyu were too busy fighting over what they wanted for anything to get prepared.

“Why?”

When Seungcheol spun to face Joshua, anger in his eyes, Joshua felt himself flinch, but he stood his ground, his mouth running before Seungcheol got the chance to open his.

“I mean, I know  _ why _ .  It’s the same reason I convinced myself a month ago that I missed L.A. too much and the chickened out when I went to see the CEO.  It’s the same reason that I’ve been fielding all calls from home. It’s the same reason that I worked myself to death in this room.  Because, one day, everything’s fine and then, suddenly, it’s not. Suddenly, it becomes so perfectly clear that _ you _ are the problem.   _ You  _ are the reason everything goes wrong.  If only  _ you  _ were gone, this never would have happened.”  Joshua paused only briefly to watch Seungcheol’s face fall.  “Maybe if we had a different leader, we’d be succeeding more.  Maybe if we hadn’t lost four members before debut, we’d be happier.  Maybe maybe maybe. I know what you feel because I feel it too.

“So I’m asking: why do you  _ really _ feel this way?  Is it because Wonwoo and Mingyu are puppies in love all the time?  Is it because Junhui mothers the little ones so much? Is it because Hansol works himself to the bone for each comeback to fight his insomnia?  Is it because Jihoon holes himself in his room for days on end or Soonyoung literally broke a bone choreographing with Chan?

“You know what I think?  I think it’s none of those things.  I think you’re doing the same thing I do.  Blaming something because it’s easier than dealing with the fact that maybe you made a bad decision.  You work so hard for us, Seungcheol. You put your neck out there day after day. There are so few self-producing idols out there; we’re the most popular.  Every single mistake we make gets reflected back on you and the company feels they’ve made a bad decision to trust us with this.

“But, Seungcheol,” Joshua sighed and stood up, shakily walking over to put his hands on Seungcheol’s shoulders.  “Look at me, Cheollie.” He looked over cautiously, his eyes a mixture of sadness and rejection. “Cheol, I love you.  Jeonghan loves you. Junhui, Wonwoo, Hansol all love you! And we need you. I’m pretty sure we’d starve without you. Literally.  You pick dinner half the time.”

Seungcheol laughed and, slowly, the negative emotions drained from his face.

“I love you, too,” he whispered.  And then he grabbed Joshua’s shoulders and pulled him into his arms, burying his face in his neck.  “I love you so much, Jisoo.”

 

\-----

 

“Oh, thank god,” Jeonghan sighed when they walked in the door, running up to help Seungcheol practically carry Joshua.  He’d lost pretty much all his energy between a crying Seungcheol and whispered confessions that he could barely stand by himself.  “You’re twelve minutes late.”

“Sorry-”  Joshua coughed.  “Sorry. I kind of got distracted by almost falling down the stairs.”

“You guys took the stairs?!” Jeonghan squawked, hitting Seungcheol on the side of the head.  “We have a perfectly good elevator!”

“Out of order,” Seungcheol murmured, turning to actually lift Joshua and carry him upstairs to their room.  Jeonghan followed close behind, grumbling about stupid leaders and idiot singers.

The two busied around with Joshua for a bit, making sure he was comfortable and his meds were within reach and nothing was going to bother him.  Jeonghan left first, having to go talk with Junhui about food for tomorrow, but Seungcheol stayed back, squatting down next to Joshua and placing his chin on the bed.

“You sure you’re okay?” he whispered.  Joshua smiled down at him. 

“Positive.  Are you?”

He stopped for a second, seemingly thinking about it deeply.  Only when Joshua nudged him did he respond.

“Yeah, I think I am.”

“Good.”  Joshua brightened.  “Then get up here.”

“What?!”  Seungcheol fell over a bit.

Joshua smirked and scooted back on the bed, giving Seungcheol plenty to room.  “I may be sick but I don’t have to be lonely. Come on. Up.”

Twenty minutes later, with a sleeping Seungcheol wrapped around him and light snores from the other rooms filling the house, Joshua smiled into the dark.

Maybe, he’s got this.

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, this is written like a k-drama...
> 
> BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING!!! I am aware that Mingyu’s a [fucking](https://youtu.be/1SURrA3OJNw) [awesome](https://youtu.be/2Lad46vDAVA) [dancer](https://youtu.be/qYj8p_Xfvbc) and doesn’t deserve this kind of slander, but I literally could not think of anyone in Seventeen who would work there, so I pulled something out of my ass. (Also, Joshua’s improved a lot since debut and we should all seriously appreciate him and his hard work. He’s getting better and better and I love him.)
> 
> I’m thinking of turning this into a series, but I don’t know. If enough people like this, I might. It’ll just be each of them feeling like they don’t belong or aren’t good enough, because I live off angst with fluffy endings.
> 
> Also, does… does Seokmin belong in the leader line now? Is that how this works?


End file.
